(curse words included)
I had been having prodomal labor for almost a week. The last two days had been hormonal hell, crying over everything on earth, not wanting to be around anyone. I felt like i was in labor…but I wasn’t in labor. Fuuuck.
Saturday Milton and I talked about my fears about going over due (R’s birth related ptsd), the issues with even natural induction methods, and any other issues I needed to sob out. I felt ready, he cleaned the bathroom, it was baby time…except it wasn’t.
On Sunday I ordered a gentle birth tincture almost exclusively in hopes that if I ordered 2 day shipping, I’d go into labor before it got here.
Monday I woke up yet again over all devastated, cried over Facebook like a 12 year old and decided to take a bath.
In the bath I rationalized that while I wasn’t comfortable using nipple stimulation to straight up induce (it took 3 hours of nipple stimulus with L), maybe if I did ten or so minutes a day the little boost of oxytocin would help a bit and at least give me a false sense of control. Lol
So almost immediately I got stronger contractions and pretty much instantly felt the baby punch and kick me hard while I was contracting, then a little tap, crack, or popping sound . At first I thought I heard her kick, but realized that made no sense…so maybe water breaking? …but I didn’t feel a gush so maybe not? I stood up…but I was in the tub…so who knows, water dripping regardless so no help there.
However my contractions start actually having a little of the type of pain I typically associate with labor so I started thinking that maybe I was on the verge after all and maybe just maybe I was going into labor.
After I had what appeared to be waters with a couple contractions (but only a little!) I thought…ok maybe probably.
I contacted Milton at 11:34 and let him know I might be in early labor. Milton had been planning on coming home early anyway, stating he just felt like he needed to be home before this even happened (maybe he could subconsciously smell labor on me). So I reminded him that I had long labors, he could wait to see if this was even real if he wanted to. Nope. He was on his way. At that point my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart but only 35 seconds long. I also let my ex know I was probably in labor.
By 12:10 I had a tiny bit of bloody show and decided this was probably definitely maybe it. Lol. Suddenly I was starving and asked Milton to pick up Chinese on his way home.
By the time he got there I was only able to eat a few bites. I walked around the house as Milton got my birth pool set up (fuck my planned land birth i would need to float this time) feeling a little silly for feeling so overwhelmed all ready…I kept thinking it would ease up soon because my labors always do.
The boys got home right after or before Milton and the bigs entertained Zara in their room.
As Milton was filling the pool i started feeling really overwhelmed, the contractions seemed to be coming right on top of each other. At this point I decide I am definitely somehow mysteriously in labor and a bath won’t stop it so I really need to ease up the pain.
The bath gave me about ten minutes respite before they started picking up again. Hard. Fast. Painful. I was feeling totally overwhelmed again and thinking that I will have to deal with 20 to 30 hours of this. I couldn’t do it. There was just no way. I needed my birth tub. (My case of the couldn’t should have been my first clue. But I was so sure there was no way could I be in transition all ready.)
Somehow between contractions I waddled into the living room and talked to Milton for a minute before I suddenly became very nauseous and shouted for a receptacle and absolutely puked my guts out. (Clue number 2) I remember thinking it was really dumb that I was puking this early in my labor. How was I gonna stay fueled for my “long” labor if I couldn’t eat?
But my contractions were coming to furiously to worry about that now. As I sunk into the still cool water I start having Milton apply very firm counter pressure while I contract.
I ask for more hot water which he gets to pouring, periodically shouting at him to “PUSH ON MY BACK” (baby was evidently moved back into a posterior position) between the water and Milton I was just barely making it through each contraction. I thought I was cold so was asking for more hot water, am I shaking because of transition (3rd clue) or cold? Must be cold.
At this point the contractions were coming so fast that Milton could only get one bucket of water dumped or even just walk back to the sink before I was shouting for him again.
Finally my mom got there. She took over hot water duty while Milton pushed on my back. At some point I started providing my own perineal support as the pain/pressure was getting even more intense.
Just as I was starting to try and think of that pain as pressure, I felt a shift inside me…a movement…testing, I pushed a little…oh that felt better, I immediately fell into my humming moo groan sound. (I was finally starting to catch these clues but I still didn’t really believe it)
“Oh shit” I said as I felt that shift…then after the pushing experiment.
“I think we may be having a baby soon.”
Two or three half assed pushes just to ease the pain. I start to worry that I’m not fully dilated and might be pushy because of a cervical lip so I decide it’s time to check…and I feel skull. Well hell ok then. But I can’t feel whether there is still cervix behind the baby’s head so I ask my mom to check for me. She washes her hands and just gets by the pool and another contraction overtakes me. As it does my fetal ejection reflex kicks in, “never mind, they’re crowning” I manage to sort of whimper-shout. Next contraction hurts, actual ring of fire…I don’t add to the fetal ejection reflex. Wanted to give my body time to adjust since labor had been so short. But the next contraction wasn’t taking no for an answer, her head was coming out! Milton smiled and told me her head was out, as he was seeming to reach in her direction”don’t pull on them” I wailed as I reached down to touch my baby. The worst part was over now but… I had dilated so fast the mucus plug had come out with the baby, I could feel a film over her head, at first I think she’s got a flap of vaginal tissue covering her face *horrors*, no wait maybe the membranes? I ask if she’s in the caul, Milton says no just baby. Well ok then. I resolve to figure it out later.
As I am waiting for the next contraction I feel a wiggly tug in my vagina “don’t pull on her Milton”
“I’m not baby” then mom excitedly telling me the baby is turning. Oh, it’s the baby fighting it. Geeze.
Milton asks me if I want him to hold my knee. Yes!
And now we have a few seconds rest while waiting for the next contraction.
Contraction starts and I know I am done, baby will be out within seconds. “Get her out” I say as she slides free of me. Milton picks her up, grinning ear to ear while mom supports her head. They pass her to me. She is totally covered in thick vernix. She’s already fussing and breathing. She seems so tiny.
One contraction later and the placenta is delivered…which I’m kind of pleased about because she was so tiny looking I thought she might be a twin for a second.
3:15 pm 8 lbs even, an amazing 22 inches long.
I can’t believe that just happened.
She is a mellow and easy going baby. Delightful…but I still haven’t slept much. lol
As a side note, they had the presence of mind to call the kids in just as she was out of the water. The children said they were listening at the door to my noises and came out when they heard a little squeal.